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Forgiveness in Intimate Relationships: A Psychoanalytic Perspective Shahrzad Siassi

Forgiveness in Intimate Relationships: A Psychoanalytic Perspective

Shahrzad Siassi

Published May 1st 2013
ISBN : 9781782411178
ebook
208 pages
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 About the Book 

How does one overcome the hardship of letting go of resentment in order to resume or establish a substantial bond with the traumatizing person, usually a parent, mindful of the fact that the experience of the self is rooted in those very sameMoreHow does one overcome the hardship of letting go of resentment in order to resume or establish a substantial bond with the traumatizing person, usually a parent, mindful of the fact that the experience of the self is rooted in those very same intimate relationships? The centerpiece of this book is forgiveness in intimate relationships and recovery from trauma as viewed psychodynamically in the clinical situation. Traumas inflicted by intimates, especially by parents, differ from traumas in the form of transgressions and betrayals in the context of less rooted relationships. While some betrayals are in fact not forgivable, what is at issue with betraying parents is that inevitably the traumatized person yearns for reunion but the fear of re-traumatization and humiliation often make that possibility fraught with risk. The author focuses on the analytic situation as the rightful arena for true forgiveness, one in which the analytic cure through an ongoing process of translating experience into words and creating narrative and meaning allows for the unfolding of a wish (as opposed to the will) often in the transference to re-establish a meaningful bond with the offender (parent) that is not superficial. This is a significant point in forgiving of traumatizing parents in that for individuals to be able to freely and fully engage their world presently, they have to transcend the past without erasing it. This is what is meant simply by forgiveness, a formidable challenge for psychoanalytic work.